vintagewitch: (UP Coast Perhaps)
I'm writing this from my lunch break at work. Things have been just nuts this week! Part of that might be that Matt and I went home for the weekend to see my folks, and things move at a much slower pace out there. (My parents live on this farm about 10 miles from the closest town of 400, so ... yeah. It's quiet.)

This is the last full week that Matt's in town. He's headed off to work on another movie for 7-8 weeks. With how disjointed the communication has been, he's not sure exactly when he needs to leave, which is stressful. He got an itinerary, but from word-of-mouth from other crewmembers it sounds like it's likely to change.

I've been trying to spend as much quality time with him as possible before he goes. He's been depressed lately, and so I'm trying to give him some extra love. I think it's been good for our relationship that we both struggle with mental health issues - we get it, you know? - but it is also difficult when we're both up and down.

Anyway, I want this weekend to be really fun and special and romantic but we're both broke as hell. We'll figure something out - definitely don't need money to have a good time. It's more important to both of us to be mindful/thoughtful than it is to be flashy.

Some things, in no particular order:

1. While I was home, my mom and I looked through some of her natural healing books to see what to do for my gut troubles. And we found a couple of remedies that are working (for now!). This is especially important because on Friday, the pain was so bad I had to have Matt come and walk me up to the apartment from the parking lot. So I have an appointment to see my doctor again on Wednesday, but thanks to some natural remedies it's at least been tolerable this week.

2. I got a TON of writing done on Sunday! I did some word sprints with folks on the @NaNoWordSprints twitter account, which really got words out in a short amount of time. The writing has been going well now that I have decided that the novel will be JUST in first person, and I feel like I have a better blueprint to finishing the draft.

3. I might be brought on for a short-term environmental organizing gig. It would be part time, but pay well, and I would be able to keep part time hours at the accounting firm. Had a hurried conversation this morning with one of the supervisors, and am waiting to hear from her again.

4. I started rereading "The Spiral Dance" b. Starhawk. I noticed that I have a lot of pagan/Wiccan reference books (grimoires, herbal encyclopedias, mythology compilations, etc), but not too much for theology (thealogy). It's been very comforting, and I definitely want to read more of this kind of writing. Not just instructions - but spiritual.

I really miss having a coven to practice with. It's been 8 years since I had a good group. Sometimes I feel selfish practicing solitary - I want to send my energy up to a group of people. I want to commune, to build others up, not just myself.

There are Reasons why I haven't sought out a coven where I live (a former abuser is in the community here and I would rather not cross paths), but I think I need to take baby steps into the finding a coven. There is a strong community of pagans here, I just need to find the right group to join up with.

A friend and I are going to visit a local pagan bookstore soon. I've been wanting to pick up a new tarot deck to practice with, and she's got other things to be looking for. Perhaps I can start asking questions or learn how to find people.

Anyway, lunch break is up. Back to work with me.
vintagewitch: (literary kitty)
This week is going to be a hot one. So far, I think we've been blessed with pretty good weather, all Midwestern summers considered. Summer is definitely my least favorite season. It seems to pass in a haze of booze and socializing these days, and of course, work work work.

Summer usually bests me for pacing.

But now it seems like things are coming to a new, much better rhythm. Work has still been really nuts, but it looks like I'll be working on the weekends less. That's one way that June really kicked my ass - and so far, July hasn't been too bad. But with Dancing in the Park, it's been its own kind of intense.

Last night was Matt's and my housewarming party. We spent most of yesterday in a frenzy of cleaning and bringing the house into a state that most people would describe as "normal." Matt's office is finally put together, and I finally got the last of my shit out of boxes. The party itself was very lovely (if extremely warm.) There weren't too many people - many of our friends weren't able to make it - but the people that did come were absolutely lovely, and everyone said they had a good time. Poor Wednesday ended up hiding under the bed for most of the night, but he did at least say hi to Mel, April, and Chris. But now it really feels like a home. We have everything in a semblance of order, we've had a group of people over, pretty much all the "jobs" that I was still coming home to are done.

And it feels fantastic.

I think it's funny and difficult that my depression has been so severe lately, when things are going (relatively) well. But that's just a testament that mental illness isn't only related to what's happening in your life - it's a chemical imbalance. I think I also tend to take on a lot of the melancholy of people around me, worry for their happiness, and have been having issues keeping my empathy in check.

Other than working on that, though, I think there are some things that I could do. Ever since my life kind of turned upside-down in the move, I feel like I've been eating out a lot, and kind of turning to comfort foods more than I would like to. So I'm going back to a more plant-powered diet, going to focus more on utilizing the wonderful veggies I get in my weekly CSA.

I've also been wrestling with finding the time to exercise. It seems like, when I take the lightrail to work, it means I have a three hour commute. The hour-and-a-half travel time in the morning is fine, but in the evening it means that I don't have any energy to exercise. So ... basically, I need to figure out a better system for that. I HATE using up all the carbon when I can use perfectly good public transportation, not to mention the issue with the gas, but WOW. It's a lot. So ... I need to get into another rhythm with running, because I know I will feel much better when I'm exercising.

The other major time struggle is finding the time to work on the novel. When I come home from work during the week, I'm usually so exhausted that I can't spare the extra energy for creative work. And now it's been so long since I worked on the novel that starting it up again feels like some kind of huge undertaking. It's like ... reconnecting with that friend you haven't had regular contact with in 6 years. You were once really close, and ... now it just seems ... like there's too much ground to cover, too much catching up to do. I was talking about it with Matt over dinner, and we both kind of landed on setting aside a day to work on the novel. Or maybe two days? I think I need to work on getting caught up. Even if I just set aside three hours on both Saturday and Sunday for writing, it will feel like a huge accomplishment.

Word count goals help, too. I remember you, NaNo.

Ugh, 10:45! I need to get to sleep.

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