vintagewitch: (Default)
Just got called by someone working on this rally at the national level, saying we aren't hitting our numbers. She said "it's not your fault!" but subtext: it is my fault because I'm in charge of recruitment.

She also forgot that I was only hired on to this rally part time. 20 hours a week? NOTHING when you're trying to get 3,000 people to RSVP to a rally.

(Who RSVPs to a rally anyway? NO ONE. That's why this is so hard.)

Everything feels fruitless right now. I had been feeling so good about it, but now I just feel panicked and little and frustrated.
vintagewitch: (UP Coast Perhaps)
It's been a tough week, but at least I get to end it on a high note.

News!

1. I got a part time job as an environmental organizer! It's temporary, planning a large tar sands rally in June. So yay! I will be half time at the accounting firm, and doing 20 hrs/week on organizing stuff. Feels very good!

2. I won tickets to see a show this Saturday at the local jazz club. So yay! That will be a great sendoff for Matt!

This is a very welcome change to the tone of things happening lately. The Baltimore Uprising has been gut wrenching to watch (but good news there too - 6 cops were charged in Freddie Gray's death today). The worst of it is that I know this is an issue black communities have been facing for decades. It's tragic, it's scary. There was a large rally planned for my city on Wednesday, and there were several times I teared up. It was so cathartic to raise a ruckus with like-minded people.

At the same time that this large-scale national mourning is happening, the GOP in my state is gutting most of the policies I care about. They're repealing our carbon reduction goals, investment in renewable energy, cutting one state-run health insurance program, lowering the minimum wage for service industry workers, and in general Fucking Things Up. It's hard to know where to start with citizen activism on some of this stuff - especially when I'm not the constituent of the people doing the Bad Things. I mean, I volunteer with two different environmental organizations, and will call on specific bills, but ... there's just so much crap right now.


I will write a larger post about some of these things, but I've been feeling very inarticulate on them lately. I get choked with emotion. Even more reasons I needed that self care night last night.

So last night's self care looked like ... pretty new nails! I STILL can't figure out how to upload an image (and don't have the patience for that right now), so I'll just link you to the photo.

I also went on a nice long walk with Matt, and then ended up sitting with him on the patio by our building for a good long while. As well as some other quality time things. I think he's been lonely and stressed, so it was nice to spend time together. But now I need some alone time, some reading time, some writing time.
vintagewitch: (nanotypewriter)
Whew, it has been a WEEK for the ages.

I'm writing this in between quick stints at work. It seems like everything in my life runs on a timer these days - I use the Pomodoro method at work to stay focused and stay on task, and I've been doing 45 minute stints to get the words out for NaNo. All in all, it seems to be a pretty effective method for me to keep myself on task with multiple things. Funny how our brains work, eh?

All this writing helps me feel more fulfilled. This week has been really shitty, what with the car going out of commission, the election meaning crazy hours while the car is out of commission, and everything. Everything. But the writing ... the writing helps me feel like I'm really getting somewhere, like I'm doing something I'm passionate about.

So the moral of the story is: more writing, not just during NaNo.

I'm honestly really hoping I'll be able to finish a draft of this book by the end of the year. Then, I'll be in full-on revision mode. Which terrifies me the further I get into NaNo this year ... SO much bullshit I'm going to have to wade through! So much time spent on the project! So much left to do!

But at the same time, I know that there are some really key things I'm leaving OUT of this draft. The character development is all over the place, I'm just now getting into the worldbuilding aspect of it.

Too all over the place to finish this entry. More journaling tonight (once I've got my word count where I need it).

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