I try to avoid anybody who bothers me about accomplishing whatever major plans I once made that fell through, like career stuff. It's fine to ask me about it once, but continuing to do it after I've explained myself is harassing and feeds into my illness is a terrible way. If they can't accept that my life has gone a different way than what they wanted, I cut them off. My goals are set by me, not other people with weird or impossible expectations. I know me best; I live with me every day. And I will aggressively defend myself from people trying to make me ashamed of being ill, or who don't even believe in it.
Also I've adjusted my success meter to smaller lengths of time. Weekly, or certain tasks throughout the day, for example. And I try to focus on the things I've accomplished rather than what I haven't. Sometimes I find a hard limit on my path to a particular thing, but that doesn't mean I can't find another way around it. Or change what I'm trying to do.
Basically, I'm capable of what I'm capable of, and I know what that is if I listen to myself instead of others. Goals are great, but utterly unrealistic expectations imposed by other people are not a thing I need in your life.
If you can't tell, I have had a lot of toxic family members, heh. And this stupid small town mean other people are in my business a lot.
One last thing: beware of people who act like you're being unreasonable when you're just taking care of yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2015-09-03 08:41 am (UTC)I try to avoid anybody who bothers me about accomplishing whatever major plans I once made that fell through, like career stuff. It's fine to ask me about it once, but continuing to do it after I've explained myself is harassing and feeds into my illness is a terrible way. If they can't accept that my life has gone a different way than what they wanted, I cut them off. My goals are set by me, not other people with weird or impossible expectations. I know me best; I live with me every day. And I will aggressively defend myself from people trying to make me ashamed of being ill, or who don't even believe in it.
Also I've adjusted my success meter to smaller lengths of time. Weekly, or certain tasks throughout the day, for example. And I try to focus on the things I've accomplished rather than what I haven't. Sometimes I find a hard limit on my path to a particular thing, but that doesn't mean I can't find another way around it. Or change what I'm trying to do.
Basically, I'm capable of what I'm capable of, and I know what that is if I listen to myself instead of others. Goals are great, but utterly unrealistic expectations imposed by other people are not a thing I need in your life.
If you can't tell, I have had a lot of toxic family members, heh. And this stupid small town mean other people are in my business a lot.
One last thing: beware of people who act like you're being unreasonable when you're just taking care of yourself.