Field Notes

 I've fallen very behind on reading people's blogs on here. I'm so sorry! I think I need to just be less of a completionist - I don't need to read *every single entry*, it's enough to show up and read what I can/what I'm able. 

I'm at my parents' farm again. We're taking a calculated risk and having a nice visit this weekend. 

Dad has his first shot from the vaccine. Anais and I have been quarantining intensely, and my parents even moreso. Or at least, we're quarantining as much as we can, considering Anais's work. But xe got a job that won't be public facing,so we're going to be a lot safer. We're being as responsible as we can seeing one another. 

The farm is really nice. I like the quiet. 

I debated bringing my fic journal with me out here, and then realized that no, I probably wouldn't need it since I haven't worked on the fic since November. Sure enough, what have I been doing since this morning? Writing away on my fic. I've realized that when I get back home, I need to work on getting my plot embryos into an outline form. The fic doc is already 24,000 words and I'm only halfway through chapter 3. "slow burn" will definitely be one of the tags on this project. XD

Today's main goal: Get some words out on my fun fanfic project.

Word count: 1563 and counting
Project: Ain't No Grave fanfic
Fandom: Harry Potter

Took today off for mental health reasons. I won't go into it here, but suffice to say I had a Massive Panic Attack yesterday and am feeling kind of emotionally hungover.

Hence: A day of writing fanfiction.

I'm honestly really pleased with how my fanfic is coming out. I'm almost two chapters in. Just a couple more scenes left to write today, then I can send it off to my beta.

One thing that I'm really trying to think about with my fic is not glorifying Pureblood culture. Bringing in the horror of the supremacy at the heart of it. I like to think of Draco as recovering from growing up in a cult. Rich, elite Pureblood bullshit is a cult all its own, and he has been so thoroughly controlled for most of his life. So in this fic, I'm trying to pepper in Easter Eggs of him reading books about surviving a cult, psychology, etc. Or of him talking to Ron or something and offhandedly mentioning a really gruesome Malfoy family ritual, and then realizing that that's not normal for regular Purebloods. 

I also Know Things about medieval grimoire magic, and so I'm peppering in some of the more gruesome details. I know way more about Norse than French/Italian stuff (Malfoy being a French last name), but a girl can invent new stuff. I'm a huge fan of horror and weird fiction, and so I want to bring in some subtle horror. A little less folk-ish than Midsommar style, a little less religious than Hereditary.

I'm also grappling with how to write Harry. The fic takes place really quickly after Deathly Hallows/the final battle (I admit, it's an 8th Year fic), and I imagine there are some shifts to Harry's personality now that he has died and come back to life. I imagine finally living without a piece of Voldemort's soul will make him feel lighter. But there's a LOT of adjusting happening, and it comes in fits and starts, so he's been weirdly difficult for me to write.

Oh well! It's all just for fun anyway. 

I'm gearing up for NaNo this year. Most of NaNo will be spent working on my grimoire, but on my "days off" from work I'll add my Drarry fic wordcount to the ticker. It's all about getting in the habit of writing daily, right?

The NaNo website also has some great resources, which I'm using to get a more firm plot around my fanfic. I know the story and motif, but I need to get more specific plotpoints down on paper. I'm somewhere between a plotter and a pantser - I still love those moments of intuition and experimentation, but I want it to be in service of plot. I love Stephen King's thoughts of "these are the characters, this is the situation, GO", but I can't bring myself to do that. He is, after all, notorious for not being able to finish things well. 

Today's validation station: 

1. I did one tarot reading today, and the client said it was super helpful.
2. I got a hearty tip earlier this week for two readings that I wasn't super feeling. But apparently it helped the querents, and they gave me an extra $16.
3. I am so excited to work with my beta on my fic. Honestly it feels really great to be writing something that isn't a part of my business.