vintagewitch: (all for the game paw)
This has been a really lovely weekend!

A friend of mine that I haven't been in touch with for years was in town, and so I got to see him on Friday night and Saturday. He was here to help judge an architecture student program at his alma mater, and of course that also meant that we got to see one another.

It was so good to see R. We've drifted apart, but that's mainly because his (now) wife went to get her MLIS in Canada about 10 years ago, and we've both not been the best at keeping in touch.

This whole friend group is one that I sort of fell out of touch with, but have been slowly getting back in touch with after a wedding last year acted as a reunion. It was like no time had passed. And they all loved meeting E, who was kinda stoned for most of it. At that wedding my ex JF and I kind of made up. There was no animosity on my end, but he has a really hard time being friends with exes after breaking up and so we never really became friends afterwards. But in my opinion we were always better as friends than as significant others, and I'm very glad to have him back in my life.

We get together for like ... game nights, he's invited E and I to a few parties at his place, and we saw one another for his birthday last summer. I laugh so hard when I'm hanging out with him.

And R&R (the guy I saw this weekend and his wife) were at that wedding as well. They live out in Portland now, so I basically never get to see them. But again, this weekend it was like no time had passed. He invited us out to stay with him, which was really sweet. At the end of our hanging out, he even said "I know that an open invitation isn't a real invitation so as soon as you and Ezra have dates you'd like to come out, just confirm them with us and we'll figure out our work schedules." 

Total sweetie.

When I see this particular group of friends (I'm going to start referring to them here as the NField Crew) I am particularly reminded of my early-mid twenties, which is when I was seeing JF. I feel simultaneously younger and older. Mostly I just feel really settled right now.

As for today, I spent most of today at home working on writing.

This course I'm writing lectures for will be the death of me! I want so badly to move on to something else. But I am proud of the work I did on it today. I also managed to get some cleaning done, including sweeping + mopping the living room and entryway floors! 

Here's a bit that I wrote today that doesn't make sense in the final cut of the lecture, but that I want to hang on to. Basically, it was a little bit too personal but I want to keep the bits for future reference.

Here is that bit: 

Gender and Sowilo )

Current daily wordcount: 2,355
Fanfic: 882
Course Writing: 1473

I'm going to reward myself with writing more fanfic. I have a cursêd kandreil omegaverse fic I'm working on. (I am actually having The Most Fun with it, and I think I got a good internal voice going for Kevi)

vintagewitch: (she's my dick)
 
 
 
I'm engaged! So much happiness! So much squeeing!

Back in August or September, my partner and I talked about getting engaged. It was right after I met hir parents, and things were feeling great. We;d agreed we were "engaged to be engaged." And then we were joking that it was a race to see who would propose first. 

So I started ring shopping and looking for a good ring for hir, and then my jeweler was hit by a car (they're fine, but they couldn't work on the ring.)

Fast forward to yesterday! 

I had an apartment sale, and xe wanted to go on a date after. On Monday xe was like "what are you doing on Sunday?" I started to sense that something was going on, because xe kept saying "I'm so excited for our date on Sunday! It's been a while since we've been on a date!" Xe suggested we go to Fair State - a brewery where we had our first date. 

Then yesterday morning I noticed that xe was dressing up and a little manic in the morning. I had been suspecting something because of how emphatic xe was being about getting there at 5. So I start to get ready, and I notice that xe is dressed to the nines. I say "Woah, should I dress up?" And xe says "Yes, you should look nice." And then I asked if there was a surprise, and xe was like "What?! No!" To be fair, Anais played it off pretty well. Xe said that a friend who had come to the apartment sale knew what xe had bought me for Christmas and was trying to cover. 

So we get to Fair State, and Anais pulls me in the door, and then I notice a table of all our friends. I shout "Why is everyone we know here?!" And then xe starts to pull me over to the table. Our friend Steven, who's a fantastic piano player, started playing the piano. Anais got a microphone, and said xe wanted to sing to me, and that this song represented the time in hir life before xe met me. 

Have a video: 
 

And then, after the song, xe got down on one knee and proposed and of COURSE I immediately said yes! And then we partied with all our friends and family!

It was a whirlwind, but it was so lovely. My brother was even there, which was so funny because he lives in LA and had been sent to Minneapolis to do some work for UPS. So he was actually able to make it! The whole night was like it came straight out of a dream. I am so lucky to have love like this in my life.

(I would share pics but I actually don't know how to do that on Dreamwidth so I guess I won't?)

Anyway, today has been really nice too. We got up and had a nice long morning together. Xe made me breakfast, and we picked up all the clothes from the sale. And this afternoon we spent all day cuddling on the couch and reading/chit chatting. 
vintagewitch: (UP Coast Perhaps)
 I've been meaning to write a sort-of retrospective on the year since my birthday, and haven't gotten around to it because summer is Crazy. (I'm 27, y'all, when did that happen?!)

I spent all last weekend at or traveling to the Remember the Kalamazoo event. Five years ago in Kalamazoo and Battle Creek, the largest inland oil spill in US History happened, and because it was tar sands oil it sank to the bottom of the river, where it still sits. In order to get it out of the river, they need to dredge it, and even that isn't working.

So it was a weekend of sitting with allies in Michigan as they remember what was once here, fight to stop the pipelines and to stop this from happening again, and looking forward to a future. We also took a toxic tour of the BP-Whiting refinery on our way home, led by the only activist in the small company town. It was horrific - to see what refinery communities have to deal with, have to live with. I stepped off the bus and could barely breathe because of the particulate matter in the air. There's an oil spill that's been sitting there for basically five years, with no real clean-up efforts because it's on industrial land. 

The whole experience was chilling. Some might even say Orwellian.

But that all deserves its own post!

There's an all-day climate change solutions visioning workshop today that I RSVPd for when I got back from Kalamazoo, but now that I've gone through a week of intense stress about grad school logistics, I'm feeling like I really just need to have a quiet morning with my coffee, my computer, my notebooks, and my plans. I feel more like reflecting, and then getting a ton of job applications done, some of my commissioned research, and maybe even writing.

Great Things About This Last Year:
  • Took a couple of great vacations with Matt - to the UP, and again to Lutsen Lodge
  • Applied to and got in to grad school
  • Deepened some friendships, let go of one particularly toxic friendship
  • Quit the horrible, soul-sucking job back in January
  • Was extremely productive with my writing - I am >thisclose< to finishing my first novel!
  • Got much more involved in environmental activism again - finding my place in the movement, after I was forced out by my previous job
  • Committed in a new way to my spiritual practice, with rituals almost every month. It feels like I'm really taking charge of life through spirituality.
  • Got commissioned to work on a huge march, which was really gratifying - yes, I have worth and am offering something to the movement.
  • Found out about Dreamwidth! This has been fantastic - and has also kicked my butt to journal a whole lot more.
  • I've seen some GREAT music live this year.
  • Women's weekend was fantastic - spending time with family was definitely a priority last year.
  • Figuring out that I need to cut dairy out of my life, and committing to being a healthier person physically, mentally, and emotionally. This has become more of a constant in my life, and I'm so thankful for that.
Challenges From This Last Year (OR: Why I'm a Much Stronger Person Now):
  • The parts of this year when I was working at Horrible Job were horrible. Dealing with constant ageist microaggressions, trying to change my boss' racist ways, feeling completely controlled and helpless, trying to work toward justice with people I was organizing with but being undermined by my boss and my organization's goals ... all bad news that meant almost daily anxiety attacks. That was hard, y'all.
  • It was really, really hard to break up with my old friend, but it had to be done. I'm still feeling really emotional about this in some ways, but it's getting easier.
  • This year, Matt and I went through a streak of being either apart or having tension in our relationship for 5 months. I think we've rounded the bend, have had some deep and open conversation, and things feel like they're finally coming back to a normal place.
  • MONEY. I had saved enough to cover a couple of months before I quit the job, but finding money and making ends meet has been a near-constant problem.
  • Depression has reared its ugly head, but I continue to work through it.
Looking FORWARD: The Year To Come
  • HOLY SHIT Y'ALL I START GRAD SCHOOL IN A MONTH.
  • Trying to find a balance with grad school and my volunteer work - which, while stressful, really gives me a sense of purpose.
  • Unforeseen opportunities: internships, research assistantships, meeting new people, building my network, all those great things
  • Finishing my novel! And starting the editing process.
  • Continuing my spiritual practice. I'm particularly excited to start in on the Alternative Tarot Course by Beth Maiden.
  • Matt and I are going to try to fit in some awesome backpacking trips! We're probably going to do an overnight this coming week, and will be doing a section of the Superior Hiking Trail. More camping and nature in general!
  • More live music, travel, festivals, play with friends, good times yay!
  • More writing - I want to write more about things like climate change, spirituality, feminism, anti-oppression work, my experiences as a queer woman, etc. Not only that, but I want to write more short stories - I'm not ready to dive into another novel, but I want to keep my chops up
Whew! What a year it's been, what a year it will be! I'm so excited for the things that I don't know about, and I'm so grateful for all the experiences of the last year. I'm a much stronger person now than I was before, and I look forward to this next year.

Thank you, everyone who's had a part in this, and to the Dreamwidth community! You're wonderful, and supportive, and this site has been a truly fantastic discovery.

Peace and love and kindness to all of you!
vintagewitch: (log lady)
I've been really down lately. This weekend was pretty restorative, and my week is starting out nice and gentle. 

Here are some things I'm excited about:

1. Saw my friend April this weekend - we've been friends for a long time now, and it's been a while since we got to hang out. We did our nails, we watched Twin Peaks, and we talked. A lot. It was great.

2. Went to a ballgame with my family and some family friends. This was fun - a little strange, since sports were never really a thing I grew up with, but whatever.

3. Saw my friend Mel yesterday. We got brunch, and watched several episodes of American Horror Story: Coven. 

4. My new tarot deck is pretty amazing. The images are surreal, and bright, originally from oil paintings. Here's a link so you can check out this amazing artwork.
On Friday night, I went for a bike ride down to a somewhat secluded park by the Mississippi and did my first reading with it. It was a sort of "get-to-know-you" reading, and I think this deck is exactly what I need in that practice right now. 
I've started doing a one-card-pull for daily readings, and that's been really on point so far. Today's draw was the Ten of Fire, which represents attention and success on an all-consuming project, but it seems to come from a place of strength, rather than negative obsession.

5. Finished reading "Neverwhere" last night. Absolutely lovely.

6. Have been pretty successful at keeping my habitat un-fucked. Considering how busy I am these days, that's a MAJOR accomplishment. Dishes are not piling up, and I'm about to get at cleaning the bathroom.

7. Bought tickets so Matt and I can go to a festival curated by one of my (our?) favorite artists in September. 

8. Have somehow managed to keep in contact with him, even though his schedule is super weird and he's on the road. It sounds like he might be home around June 28th? Which is earlier than I thought.

9. Rewatching "Twin Peaks." The world of Twin Peaks is really inspiring - I might need to do some writing prompts or something. Also toying with the idea of writing Twin Peaks fic. Fanfic is something I haven't contemplated in a LONG time, but there you go.

10. Haven't spent much time online this weekend - nice break.

I should get off to some of my cleaning before I have to go in to work. I'm being pretty strict about not putting in overtime (they've basically said they can't pay me for overtime), so I've got to be really effective and on while I'm at work. That's not a bad thing, and I'm kind of proud of the boundaries I've set and kept with this job. It's so easy when working for the cause to end up working round the clock just because you care so much - but that's not good for the organizers, because you burn out quickly and you end up devaluing your work. So yes: Boundaries are good.

Off with me! To the bathroom with scrubbing brushes!

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