Autumnal Thoughts

 I know there's a month left of summer, but I can feel, just behind the humidity and the heat, autumn nudging its way in. Part of it is the back-to-school business, and part of it is the days evening out.

I went to a celebration of Lughnasadh the other day, and someone was talking about how the summer is a really fast period, how there's this sort of inertia as the world turns. Once the summer solstice hits, it's like the world moves at a faster pace, and the days get shorter much faster than they get longer. Apparently this quarter is infamous for moving fast.

I don't know if this is true, but it feels true, and that counts for something.

I always go through a blue phase in June and July - it's like a yearly depression trigger for me. Living in the upper midwest, these are some of the only "nice" times out of the year, so there is something going on every. damn. weekend. And there's so much fear of missing out, and my introverted side gets super freaked out, and it's like it's one of the only times people are actively getting together, but everyone's so damn busy that you don't see them, so my extroverted side freaks out. 

Freaking summer.

So I always breathe a sigh of relief the first couple of days when I can feel that tilt of the world shift. When the first hint of autumn on the summer breeze hits my face.

Things I want to do, because I Want Autumn:

• Knit! I need to find my stash of yarn and knitting needles. I used to have some seriously beautiful yarn, or just yarn in larger quantities, but I can't seem to find them. Must tear up apartment tomorrow.
• Drink cider!
• Watch even more horror movies than usual. Dawn of the Dead is top of my list at the moment (the original, of course)
• Read! All the things!
• Ride my bike! Actually exercise outside because it isn't stupid hot and humid at the moment
• Go camping! I think some of the best camping is actually in the fall, because it's not so damn sticky and there aren't so many damn people

In life-type news, today was Matt's birthday. I was Bad Girlfriend and scheduled a bike ride/brunch with a friend that I haven't seen in a while for this morning. I mean, nothing he did is making me feel bad - he's actually not a super birthday person - but still. It feels like we're, again, on different wavelengths. And it was really important to me to see this friend, and it's important to me to keep a balance between friend commitments and relationship commitments.

He doesn't seem perturbed about it - but he is certainly preoccupied with something. That could be lack of sleep, though. His last day on the film he's working on was Friday, and he didn't get home until about 5:30 Saturday morning, so I think he's still really dazed and confused. We did go to his mom's house for dinner tonight, and that was weird in a way that ... wow. Yeah, hard to describe. So perhaps that's it.

I'll just have to pick a day this week to give him all the surprises.