Sep. 10th, 2015

vintagewitch: (Rory Reading)
I'm almost done with my first week of graduate school. And my life is totally different now, again. This particular transition has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Things, overall, are very good. My classes are engaging, and hard as hell, and I'm meeting amazing new people, and I feel like I'm on a really good trajectory for my career now. It feels like things are finally moving, like there's a lot coming my way, and I can almost taste the opportunity.

I'm not going to lie, my anxiety has been through the roof. On Tuesday (first day of classes), I discovered that there were online sites for (about half) of my classes that weren't showing up in my student account. Which also, incidentally, meant that I'm behind in terms of readings. I'm estimating I'm about 100 pages behind in my reading because of this, and most of the last two days have been spent trying to catch up in time for certain classes, while trying to sort out some financial/other logistics, and manage to feed myself and function on a basic level.

It occurs to me now that going from unemployed to taking 16 credits of graduate-level work is an extremely difficult transition, but it's made even more so because I'm taking classes that are outside my undergraduate studies. My Environment and Energy Policy class is designed to be interdisciplinary, and there are a bunch of master's level mechanical engineering students, some physicists, as well as other policy students. So ... y'know, with my BA in English and Social Justice I'm feeling a little intellectually intimidated.

But here's the thing: I've been able to grasp the basic concepts presented in all my classes. I'm not totally stumped. 

Yes, I'm going to have to work damn hard, I'm going to force myself to go through extra problem sets and really work on the material. I'm going to have to seek out extra resources, and probably work more than other students with more relevant training and experience. But I was admitted to this program, and my adviser was very encouraging when I met with her.

So ... *deep breaths*

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