Fractured holiday weekend

 

 

 

This holiday weekend was difficult. It started out with the muffler falling off my car, and scrambling to get it in to the shop. Then my dad had to come to the cities to get Anais and I, and then all the way back to the farm. So of course, they had to drop us off again today - which meant a 2-hour nail biter of a ride as my parents fought over road safety conditions. 

My mom's anxiety was in full swing, which sent MY anxiety spiraling. 

I didn't get as much peace and quiet as I was hoping for, mostly because it felt really interrupted and because of mother-daughter shared anxiety. Instead of having a full day at the Farm yesterday I had to drive into the cities for a couple of appointments. It's ok, because I made a significant amount of money doing those readings, but I really do need a vacation. Maybe going home isn't a great "vacation expectation" at the moment, though, because my mom is incredibly anxious about food. Whenever anyone mentions that they are hungry, or if she isn't sure what's happening next, she shoots into a litany of "Well you know we have potatoes and apples and carrots and hummus and turkey and ..." etc. until she's gone through most of the options. She's always done this, but it was really tough this weekend.

I think she feels guilty about my eating disorder. And that's a tough feeling to sit with as an adult kid. 

So I'm taking the rest of the day "off" to relax + recuperate. The drive in from the country was scary as hell today. The freezing rain/ice on the road was Not Good, especially not on those back country roads.

I'm gonna repot some plants that desperately need it, and then I'm going to take a long bath. So many new plants have come into my life in the last week or so - my mom sent me home with a shamrock and a rosemary bush (to replace the one that just died), and an old high school frenemy sent me an arrowhead. And last week I bought myself a Pothos, though I think that one would prefer a lower light than I've currently got it in, so I might have to move it. But WHO KNOWS because I live in MN in the winter so everything is low light these days.

I am definitely becoming a Plant Mom and I am happy that my home is starting to resemble a bit of a jungle.

I also want to spend some time tagging items for my closet sale next weekend. I'm selling a lot of my vintage dresses, as well as other items from my closet that just ... don't fit or don't suit me anymore. I'm hoping to make some extra money, with which to pay down my credit card bill. 

Ok, tea + plants + bathtime starts NOW.