vintagewitch | Getting stuff off of my chest

I've been feeling lots of imposter syndrome. Been having lots of Body Struggles, which I won't go into here because I already spoke quite a bit to my therapist about it.

One really cool thing that she said to me today: "The breath is the messenger of the body."

I want to remember that. She wants me to practice deep breathing for at least 5 minutes every day, because my body is in crisis mode from trauma being unearthed. The breath helps with that.

Been feeling lots of fraudy feelings and fear about money for this winter. I haven't had a ton of clients at my reading gigs, which honestly has been a blessing in disguise. I haven't felt up to doing a ton of readings, but I also need to make the money that doing readings does. I don't have a "day job" anymore. I've got to make this work all on my own.

The grimoire for the witchcraft immersion I'm teaching is also ... getting out of hand. I'm doing NaNo this year to attempt to finish it, but I don't think I'll have a manuscript for the whole year after this month. I'm going deep, which I know is what students who commit to a yearlong witchcraft course want. So I'm just refocusing myself on getting the first five months done, and then I'll have to send them two different workbooks: one for the first half of the year and one for the second half.

But before I can even get started on that today, I HAVE to finish the fire magic workbook for Sunday's class. I'm rereading the myth of Prometheus for the guided meditation I'll be doing to start off the class. Fire is weirdly the element I have the most trouble with - probably because I am so rooted in water and earth personally. I know that I also take candle magic for granted, which honestly may be a part of it.

Anyway, now that I've got these thoughts down at least I need to get going on the writing for the day. Wish me luck.