How do I write after this day?

[vintagewitch]

 Wow, it's almost 10:30. I guess I got home kind of late after the action night, and running around in the next town over.

After the day I've had, I don't know how it is I've still got thoughts to put to the page. I don't think I have the energy, yet again, to really get into the main thing on my mind, but it feels good to get some of the clutter out.

Temping at an accounting firm during tax season is very busy. But at the same time, what I'm doing there is so very mindless that I have a lot of time to think. It's amazing the brainspace that's been freed up since I found out I didn't get the job. Now, it's back to planning and daydreaming instead of endless fretting over what it would mean to take the job. 

Graduate school, to get my Master's in Public Policy. That is what I'm doing for the next two years. 

It feels good to know that. 

Hopefully, this newly-free space in my mind will mean I can get back to writing the novel. It's been far too long since I was able to pick that up in any real way, I've been thinking far too much about Big Decisions and Life Shit.

Speaking of the novel, I think one of the reasons it's been difficult for me to work on it lately has been the sense that I'm just ... not a good enough writer for the story. I'm so very attached to it at this point, and I think it's an important story that needs to be told and told well so that people listen. But I don't think I'm good enough to really tell it yet.

At the same time, I'm worried that if I stop (at over 200 manuscript pages), I'll try to pick it up again in the future and be unable to figure it out. The manuscript will be completely out of touch, illegible, I won't even be able to get through it as a reader, much less a writer and editor. I need to build up my writing chops generally.

So short stories have been appealing to me lately. I will absolutely not be able to finish the story by the deadline, but there's a literary journal looking for stories based on The King in Yellow, and I do plan to write one. Perhaps I'll make it into a longer NaNo project this fall. I have a certain plot bunny that I've been keeping in the pen. But maybe it's time to let it out. Maybe I bit off a chunk too huge with the older project. And it does feel so good to be writing other things, experimenting with style and character. 

I never thought I would enjoy writing short stories. It's odd. It's good, though. This really is the best way to get better at writing.

Ack. Taxes wait for no one, and I've got an early day tomorrow. I should finish up my beer and get to bed.

Comments

[syntaxofthings]

I have the same thoughts when I find out about a job definitely not working out or something; it's pretty much impossible to turn off the brain until you know how it's going to work out. Actually, I take that back. It's hard to turn off the brain with everything. But temping is for sure my favorite way to do mindless work and get paid while thinking about other things.

[alee_grrl]

Writing short stories can be a lot of fun. And as pretty much all of my professors have told me the best way to improve your writing is to keep writing. I've really only had the capacity for journalling and poetry (and not much of that) recently, and have to remind myself that still counts as writing. :)

[vintagewitch]

Journaling definitely still counts as writing! I think it can be a really good way to get through writer's block and still practice.

[thistleingrey]

(Hello!)

[vintagewitch]

(Hello to you too!)