The Sexism Parade Continues

[vintagewitch]

 Dude in my stats group was really frustrating me yesterday. Super condescending (although that was both to me and my other male group member), and then when I opened our group report I found that he had put the tables into our word doc as jpegs, and they were so small they were illegible. LIKE WHAT EVEN.

So I spent three hours this afternoon RE-DOING them by hand.

Then I went to my energy policy class where we were presenting our video project drafts today. There's this one really infuriating dude in my class who always talks over people, always has a quip handy, and is in general extremely condescending and infuriating. He and his group presented a video on trains carrying explosive gas - bomb trains. Probably 4 out of 6 minutes was footage stolen from other sources, all images of explosions, no information, and it was extremely inflammatory.

Naturally, my professor was extremely critical.

Then, he said something that was totally off-base about policy. Specifically, that no legislation had been passed. And, of course, because I was commissioned to write an informational briefing about this this last summer, I raised my hand to politely correct him. He talked over me, continuing to assert wrong information. So I snapped a little to finish my sentence, and after I was done made eye contact with a friend of mine in the class.

I may have sworn a little under my breath. I'm hoping the professor didn't hear me. I was just so done with cis white men harassing me, insisting they were right when they're wrong, taking over group projects, being condescending ... just no. No. There is only so much of that bullshit I can take in 48 hours.

There was a great post on Captain Awkward about dealing with this exact issue last week. So ... I'm gonna reread that and try to take some advice. 

I'm thinking today will be better. I ended up with a migraine last night, so I went to bed super early. So tonight ... mostly about self care. There's a Keystone XL rejection party that I sort of want to go to, but transportation is complicated and I don't think I have energy for it. I need a serious cave night at home. I'm thinking wine and Netflix and tarot.

Comments

[syntaxofthings]

I'm so mad at people on your behalf. That might be one of the reasons I don't want to go out lately. White cis men are so awful and privileged and don't recognize it.

I really like the point in Captain Awkward to point out the rudeness. "Please don't interrupt me. [continue speaking]" I'm trying to practice doing that in conversations. Make them realize how rude they are.

Hugs!

[novel_machinist]

I'm going to read that. I don't need it now, but it's a helpful guy.

<3 You're awesome

[untonuggan]

unsolicited but beta-tested advice about a family mansplainer ahoy (feel free to ignore or adjust to your own needs/energies)

If there is another person in your class who is equally annoyed with this dude or sees your annoyance, you might be able to tag team him? this is what my sister and brother-in-law and I have been doing when my dad goes all white dude let-me-show-you-how-not-racist-I-am-black-son-in-law mainsplainy interrupty at family gatherings.

(one of us is talking, usually my sister or I)
my dad interrupts with an unrelated story
(sister and I make eye contact of shared annoyance)
dad finishes, person who was not interrupted goes, "hmm. so [other person], you were saying something about ___?"
(continue conversation that happened before derailing)

or

my dad starts talking in a very *facepalm* way about Racial Issues to my brother-in-law (like How He Voted for Obama or asking my brother-in-law's opinion about Current Loaded Racial Topic in the News, which is funnily the only current events topic my dad ever wants to talk about with my BIL)
(my sister takes on talking to my dad)
(I talk about sportsball or TV or books with my brother in law so he doesn't have to deal with bullshit)
(we do a dance in our heads)
(my dad is annoyed because he doesn't watch sportsball and why don't we see what a good white person he is being!!!)

so if you have an ally or two, if dudebros interrupt or are wrong, you can get a voice or two to support you/reintroduce your topic/point out that dude just said what you said five minutes ago/etc. and you can reciprocate.

if you aren't sure how to initiate after class or whatnot, will say that at my house this happened organically and without planning by my sister or I occasionally doing it in conversation for each other, realizing what the other was doing, and it becoming an unspoken pact thing. so you could always try seeing if it's happening to other classmates and (on a day when you have spoons), speaking up for them? and maybe commiserating after class.

[vintagewitch]

Oh I do like that idea! I think almost all the other people in the class are really done with this dude, so it shouldn't be hard to find an ally. There was many a Knowing Glance thrown in class on Monday.

I'm also going to try some of the scripts Captain Awkward uses, like "Please don't interrupt me when I'm speaking." Because this is far from the first time I've encountered this, and also will for sure not be the last.